


The Ron Paradox

by VampireNaomi



Category: Kim Possible (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-04
Packaged: 2018-02-19 20:06:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2401274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireNaomi/pseuds/VampireNaomi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monkey Fist decides to kill Ron while the villains are undercover at Kim's pre-school in A Sitch in Time, but the result isn't exactly what he had in mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ron Paradox

Wanting to kick himself was not a feeling that Monkey Fist was used to, but at the moment the desire to do himself in was particularly strong. He couldn’t believe he had been stupid enough not to realise this before. It was so obvious. 

He was sitting in his tree at the playground and never letting his eyes wander off one of the children, but it was not Kim Possible who held his attention so. It was a small boy sitting alone by the swings, drawing something into the sand.

He didn’t think Drakken or Killigan had been paying attention earlier when they had been playing the introduction game with the teacher, but his head had instantly shot up when he had heard that one name spoken out. It had been almost too unreal to believe. 

Ron Stoppable. 

He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised that the pathetic impostor had gone to pre-school together with Kim, but the odds of them running into him in the past were still pretty low. It could mean only one thing; this was fate. It was right then and there that he had forgotten all about tormenting Kim Possible and decided that Ron was to be his target. After all, he would benefit much more this way. Breaking Kim’s spirit and preventing her from taking up crime fighting would make his life a little easier, yes, but it was Ron Stoppable who was his real enemy. 

That was why the boy had to die. Then he would never steal his Mystical Monkey Power or be in his way of reaching his destiny. 

He dropped down from the tree and approached him on all fours.

“Hello, Ron,” he said with a crooked grin. 

Ron lifted his eyes from his sand drawing. “Hi,” he said, smiling hopefully at the prospect of getting a playmate. “Do you want to swing with me?”

Monkey Fist shook his head. “No, but I’ll race you to the jungle gym.” He ran to the monkey bars and climbed to the top with ease, then sat down to wait for the slower boy. His plan was so simple that it was brilliant, and he had to bite his tongue to stop himself from cackling out loud with mirth. 

“This looks like the kind of plaything that is born from a good idea but doesn’t really work,” Ron observed as he tapped the metal framework with his finger. “You could fall, or hit your head, or get stuck and twist your ankle.”

“Oh, don’t be such a spoilsport! Just get up here,” Monkey Fist snarled. 

“I’d rather be alone than play with mean kids,” Ron muttered, but after a moment of hesitation he grabbed the bars and pulled himself up. It took him a while to reach Monkey Fist who had crossed his arms on his chest and was tapping the bars impatiently with his toe. The simian villain glanced at the others from the corner of his eye. Drakken and Killigan were busy teasing Kim, and nobody was looking at them. Good.

“I’m not sure I like this,” Ron said as he held on tightly to the iron bars and stared down.

“Oh, really?” Monkey Fist said with a sneer. “I think it’s exhilarating!” With that, he shoved Ron off the climbing pole. His mad grin widened from ear to ear when he heard the sickening snap of the boy’s neck and saw how he went limp on the ground. 

“Yes! Now nothing will stop me from becoming the Ultimate Monkey Ma--” 

The Tempus Simia fell to the ground when Monkey Fist disappeared within a blink.

***

Shego brought the binoculars back on her eyes when she heard a scream from the playground. Great, she thought. How did those three clowns screw up this time? She couldn’t see what was going on because too many people had gathered at one spot, but she did see Drakken and Killigan running to her direction.

As soon as the two reached her, Drakken turned them back to adults. A nervous and almost frightened expression was masking his features, and Shego knew that something had given him a shock.

She crossed her arms and leaned against the car by her side. 

“Alright, what--”

“Let’s just get out of here first while we still can,” Drakken hurried to say as he took a careful glance behind his shoulder. Shego figured that whatever had happened at the playground had to be pretty serious. She could see that people were still swarming over that one spot.

“What about Monkey Fist?” she asked.

“Every man and monkey for himself,” Killigan said. He pulled out the time monkey. “Besides, he dropped this, so I don’t think he’ll be coming back with us.”

The golfer used the Tempus Simia to open a portal in the timestream, and the three of them stepped through it back to the present time. Everything in Drakken’s lair looked exactly like they had left it, and if it wasn’t for that one of them hadn’t made it back, Shego would have had trouble believing they had ever even been gone.

She put her hands on her hips as she regarded the two villains with a doubtful look on her face.

“Okay, so what happened?” she asked. “Did you crush Kim’s spirit or not?” 

“We were just about to deliver the final blow to her fragile self-esteem when something unexpected happened and we were forced to retreat,” Drakken explained with a frustrated clench of his fists. 

“Some kid fell from the climbing pole. Ick, it was pretty nasty,” Killigan added. 

“We realised that the place would be swarming with police and doctors in a second, so the best course of action was getting away before somebody realised that we weren’t supposed to be there,” Drakken continued. 

Shego figured it was the best thing they could have done. It was a wonder they had been able to get into the school in the first place, considering that their names weren’t in any records. The teacher must have been pretty daft not to realise that she had three extra kids on her hands. The last thing any of them would have needed was to be caught and questioned, especially since they couldn’t offer much resistance in their child forms. 

“And why isn’t Monkey Fist with you? I thought you were working as a team,” she pointed out. He was clearly the most intelligent of her companions, though that wasn’t saying much in present company, so she was a little surprised it was him who had done something stupid and got lost in the past. 

Killigan frowned thoughtfully. “I could’ve sworn he was there one minute, but then he was just gone. We had no time to look for him,” he said. 

“Who cares about him? Our brilliant plan was a complete failure!” Drakken groaned and covered his eyes. 

“Correction, your plan was a complete failure. As usual,” Shego remarked.

Drakken, however, wasn’t easily defeated with the ire of her words. Within a second his expression turned from utter disappointment to absolute enthusiasm. 

“Well, it’s a good thing I always have a backup plan! The most logical course of action is to travel back in time to Kim’s teenage years and crush her spirit there! If we ruin her first mission, she will never be able to even spell crime fighting without breaking into tears!” he announced.

Shego and Killigan glanced at each other from the corners of their eyes and grimaced in doubt. 

“And what was her first mission?” Shego asked. 

Drakken scratched his chin in thought and frowned. “Uh, wait a minute… I know I looked it up. Something about some collector somewhere. Check her website, Shego! She has mission reports there.”

“Shouldn’t we go back in time and look for Monkey Fist? Who knows what trouble he can cause if he’s stuck there,” Killigan pointed out as Shego switched on one of the computers. 

“Agreed,” she pointed out as she started typing the URL of Kim’s site. “Knowing him, he’ll mess things up for good if there’s nobody to keep him in line.”

“Well, whatever he has or will ever do in the past would already show here in the present, but I don’t see anything different. Right now our main priority is Kim Possible,” Drakken said.

“I don’t think so, Doctor D,” Shego remarked. She kept staring at the computer screen, hitting links and scrolling down the pages, trying to find something that would prove that what she was seeing wasn’t really there, but it didn’t work. 

“And what’s that?” Drakken called out, his voice dripping with annoyance. “Haven’t we already discussed that --”

“Cork it and take a look at this,” Shego snapped. 

Drakken and Killigan walked up behind her and stared at the computer screen. 

“So, it’s the lassie’s website. So what?” Killigan asked. 

“Well, if you go to her mission blog, you’ll find out that her first mission was babysitting the Turner twins. On her second mission, she successfully kept the horrid Smith brat in line, and her third mission was heroically taking part in first graders’ field trip to Mongoose World. I think you get the point,” Shego said. To prove her words, she pulled up Kim’s entries about each mission and let her companions read them.

“No, this can’t be! I know her first mission was with that collector!” Drakken said and took the mouse from Shego. He tried clicking around the site to find what he was looking for, but eventually even he had to give up and admit that Kim Possible’s website was all about babysitting and teenage troubles. 

“Could this be some kind of trick?” Killigan asked. 

Shego frowned. “More likely something you did in the past affected the present. I think that accident with the kid is a good place to start. Now move!” her last line was directed at Drakken who quickly retreated and let Shego control the mouse again. 

She surfed to the website of a local newspaper, pulled up their archives and entered the date of the day after they had travelled to the past. She scanned the articles until she found what she was looking for.

“Hey, guys, listen to this. ‘Four-year-old falls to death. A tragic accident at a pre-school in Middleton resulted in the death of a four-year-old boy. The boy had been playing in the monkey bars and fell, breaking his neck. Death was instantaneous. The school will be closed down until officials have determined whether the staff can be sued for abandonment. In the meantime, the other children will be honouring their dead playmate with cards and flowers. “Ron was really nice. I would have liked to be his friend,” says young Kim Possible, a fellow child from the school’.”

It didn’t take too long before both Drakken and Killigan had made the connection.

“So, the little laddie was the buffoon?” the golfer asked.

“Yup. Looks like Kimmie never made it in the crime fighting business without a sidekick. I’m not really surprised. They did work as a team,” Shego observed thoughtfully. 

Drakken’s eyes lit up with sudden triumph. “That means… our plan worked! Goodbye Kim Possible the annoying pest, hello Kim Possible the useless teenager! Hahaha!” He threw his head back and laughed, enjoying their unexpected victory like a kid left alone in a candy store. 

“I can’t believe it was this easy. We didn’t even do anything,” Shego pointed out to Killigan because she knew Drakken’s mind was in a different world at the moment. 

“The buffoon can’t have fallen on his own. Monkey boy must have had something to do with it,” Killigan mused.

Shego nodded in agreement. These events weren’t part of the normal timestream. 

“Yeah. He was so fixated on him.”

Meanwhile, Drakken had gone and taken the champagne out the fridge. He poured each of them a full glass, and they lifted them to celebrate their victory. 

“To the world that shall soon be ours!” Drakken announced. 

“By the way, guys,” Shego said after taking a sip of her drink and putting her feet up on the table, “any theories on what exactly happened to Monkey Fist?”

***

In the not too distant past, Lord Montgomery Fiske was hanging onto a stone ledge in an ancient temple in Cambodia. He had made it past the fire and moving walls and other obstacles, but as he gazed down at the spikes below him, he knew that this final trap had almost had him. He would have been doomed without his quick reflexes and recently acquired mutated hands and feet.

Digging through the temple and risking his life like this wasn’t what he had originally had in mind, but he had had no alternative. He had searched the Internet and tried to find someone cheap and reliable to retrieve the final monkey statue for him, but he hadn’t found anyone. As a result, he had been forced to undertake this last expedition himself, even though he knew that this temple was by far the trickiest of the four. 

But he had made it. A grin grew on his strained face as he spotted the final monkey statue below him, standing in the middle of dozens of deadly spikes. He was here, and now years of research and work would finally pay off. He almost felt touched in his toughened heart as he looked at the statue and how it glimmered in the faint light, filling his mind with promises of a glorious future. 

“Yes! Now nothing will stop me from becoming the Ultimate Monkey Ma—argh!” He was so immersed by his triumph that he failed to notice the venomous snakes until one of them had sunk its teeth into his wrist. He was already falling by the time he realised that he had let go of the ledge.

Oh, bollocks, was his final thought before he was impaled on a spike.


End file.
